19 December 2006

It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today. (Best of 2006)

Another year has ended, and the NME have proved themselves to be total jackasses, again. Due to the fact that the new music express has no idea what good new music, or just good music period are, i offer you a couple of lists of my own(arctic monkeys free).

The 11 best singles of 2006:

1. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
2. Okkervil River - The President's Dead
3. Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks
4. Swan Lake - All Fires
5. The Flaming Lips - The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
6. Dirty Pretty Things - Bang Bang You're Dead
7. Cold War Kids - Hospital Beds
8. Envelopes - Sister in Love
9. Islands - Rough Gem
10. Dr. Dog - Ain't It Strange
11. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me

The 25 best albums of 2006:

1. Sunset Rubdown - Shut Up I am Dreaming
2. Howling Bells - Howling Bells
3. Swan Lake - Beast Moans
4. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
5. Islands - Return to Sea
6. Dirty Pretty Things - Waterloo to Anywhere
7. Cold War Kids - Robbers and Cowards
8. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
9. Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out of This Country
10. The Liars - Drums Not Dead
11. LCD Soundsystem - 45:33
12. Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
13. Envelopes - Demon
14. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
15. Be Your Own Pet - Be Your Own Pet
16. Peter Bjorn and John - Writer's Block
17. The Flaming Lips - At War With the Mystics
18. Yo La Tengo - I am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass
19. T.I. - King
20. The Raptures - Pieces of the People We Love
21. Bob Dylan - Modern Times
22. Beck - The Information
23. Thom Yorke - The Eraser
24. Cat Power - The Greatest
25. Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat

I now depart for the grand ol' NYC, i will come back and fancy this up, i just wanted to get it up so it could be enjoy by the few who you are. take care, eat more chocolate, merry christmas kids!

11 December 2006

these ain't no penny loafers.

Today was a day of kings work and slumber. I took some final exams only to find myself done with the school year, and rewarding myself with a viewing of "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". This movie is, of course, one of my favorite movies of all time.

I dare say it is my favorite movie.

So i am lying on the couch and i see the unnecessary but completely amazing scene where he shows off his cancelled Zissou Adidas shoe line. I had a home shopping network moment and thought to myself "I want that!". So i immediately went to ebay to find nothing, then i googled it and realized that i am not the only person to have these thoughts and desires.

There is a Zissou Adidas shoes petition you can sign, cause i know deep down you want these puppies too!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

go here to sign the petition:

Maybe someday i will be able to to walk through the streets of Atlanta, or better yet the world and show off my new Adidas as a part of Team Zissou.

10 December 2006

Fire Down Below

One of my guilty pleasures lies in one of the most diabolical human beings alive. There is only one 6’4” Italian who can beat thousands of thugs with his numerous martial arts skills, the one the only, Steven Seagal. He is a man of many faces, forms, and professions. Going everywhere from being an astute paleontologist who has to risk his life to recover ancient artifacts to a renegade cop whose daughter has been stolen from his own home. Steven Seagal’s movies, everything that is wrongly brilliant and lame about them, are my guilty pleasures.
I saw my first Steven Seagal movie when I worked at a books and music store called Chapter 11 a few years ago. My friends and coworkers Michael, Thom, and Eric shared the love of Steven Seagal, and I did not quite understand. At this point in my life, I was getting through the whole “too cool for school” syndrome, and just couldn’t see how it was cool to enjoy a movie that didn’t have an amazing artistic direction. I took myself way too seriously. One day they asked me over to enjoy a film, which to this day is still my favorite of his, 1991’s Out For Justice. They tried to explain to me how the movie wasn’t good, but that it was awesome. I still didn’t understand so I just started to watch. In the beginning of a film, our man Steven and his partner are waiting in a car for a drug deal to go down that they are about to bust. Across the street Steven sees a pimp beating up one of his “hoes”. Because of his noble heart he abandons the bust and runs over to beat the crap out of the pimp, only to end up throwing him into a car windshield. When this happened and the opening credits rolled I found myself slipping into a comfortable and happy place. It all slowly started to make sense, Steven Seagal’s movies are horrible, but so ridiculous that they are amazing. By the end of the movie, I understood completely.
Steven Seagal is a delicacy that only so many people can respect and enjoy. It’s like acquiring a taste for a fine wine or dark chocolate, except the other way around. It’s a ridiculously bad delicacy. A current example, is everyone’s semi-recent interests in the exploitation of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris jokes, that are kind of funny, a few bad movies, and Walker Texas Rangers episodes are all it takes for these kids. Are these kids really Chuck Norris fans though? Can they truly appreciate how bad he is, know it, and own it. I call them all out because I don’t think they do. The thing about Steven Seagal is that he is the “underdog” of the bad action stars, if you will. He does all of the things Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Sylvester Stalone do, but more over the top and with more love. This man takes his career and cheesiness to new highs and lows with every film. His martial arts are more interesting and farfetched. His ladylove scenes are steamier ten fold. The plots to his movies get more and more ridiculous, and are even graced with such renowned stars as Tommy Lee Jones, DMX, Gary Busey, Kurt Russell, and none other than, Michael Caine. Steven Seagal is just simply “where it’s at”. He's like listening to Master of Puppets when you are driving really fast, listening to "Every Rose has it's thorns" at a strip club, or listening to AC/DC period. Not only are Steven Seagal’s films cheesy and bad, but also they have the worst playfully racial moments at times, making them somewhat wrong, but whatever. These are the epitome of my bad tast.
Steven Seagal’s films are directed at one particular group of people, because surely no one else would buy into them. They are directed at the group of men that are in between their late 20s and early 40s that like to live vicariously through all of his amazing antics. These are normal dudes that used to watch these movies with their frat brothers, and dream they could be as badass as Seagal. It makes sense, Steven Seagal is this average, overly tall, awkward, and slightly overweight guy that goes around and beats up thugs that he towers over. This is every common middle-aged man’s dream. Tell me what middle-aged bored man, doesn’t dream that when he walks into a convenient store to get milk only to see a gang of Asians holding the place up. Then not only be outnumbered, but to beat the crap out of every armed Asian man in sight. This in itself is amazing. I personally cannot identify with this public. They are in no way people I could hang out with, or spend any more than 10 minutes with really. I will say that I do share the fantasies of being Seagal in those necessary situations. For me, Steven Seagal is not someone I envy, or think is a God. I merely enjoy the over the top ridiculousness of his movies. Mine is an enjoyment at a distance, rather than right at the TV.
In the end, Seagal is completely harmless. I love him as a paleontologist and as a cop gone bad. Everyone needs a good dose of Steven Seagal in their life, whether they think they need it or not. As for all of you trendy kids, see Hard to Kill, Out For Justice, and Under Siege, and it will round house kick the Chuck Norris out of your ass.